Friday, February 5, 2010

The Color of a Pill

I'm cold lately.

Tired too.

My skin is dry.

Winter creeps into my soul.

I'm forgetful.

Is it a season of the heart? Is it sin? Is it a season of motherhood? Or just the season of snow and cold and dark?

It may be those things. But it may be something else too.

I've never used it as an excuse before. I thought it some silly disease easily cured by one little pill. It didn't bother my beloved, either, when we were dating. He made sure to tell me so.  I wasn't worried. It didn't bother me either!

What is this nuisance of a disease, so easily confused with the effects of a season?

Hypothyroidism. Under active thyroid.

I've been taking the little pill since I was ten. And I've been fine. Thankyouverymuch.

Except of course when I carried my babies. My body couldn't keep up and my dosage couldn't either. Was I extra tired than normal pregnant women? Was it harder on me than others? Every month my pill color changed. A higher dose.

Babies came and my dose decreased. Easily normal again.

I recently had my yearly checkup. I can't remember the TSH (Thyroid stimulating hormone) number, but my pill color changed. I must be getting older. Or something. Yes, I've been tired and cold and crabby, and at times, overwhelmed. I've even had "sluggish thought processing" and forgetfulness. My kids say I have short term memory loss. But my sister would claim I've always had that...(That's a joke, people!)

But I'm a mom. And it's winter. Doesn't that account for my symptoms?

Who knows.

I'll have to wait and see if this pill color helps.


Alyssa said...

Whatever it is, I hope you find something to make you feel better! I've been telling Eric he should have his thyroid checked (and the hypo?thyroidism runs in his family). He seems to be always tired. Anyway, maybe you need a new color pill and a sunny vaca! Doctor's orders :)

Anonymous said...

Tanning can help. So can Verilux lightbulbs. My heart goes out to you, Kristina. I have been having pills added and changed for years. But God has been faithful. I can't wait for our new bodies!