Thursday, December 23, 2010

Burden and Birth

My emotions have been matching the seasons.

After struggling through the blinding blizzard of fear, thinking I had faith, but my actions speaking to my soul state, walking in circles, like Mary on her Advent journey, bearing a burden.

Hers was a joyous burden, though, so different than mine, taking on the pressure of providing for my family, too many things on my shoulders, when no one expected it of me but myself, the stress weighing down on me physically, and dizzy with it all swirling around, finally the sun has come out. (I know that's a pretty long run-on sentence. But that's how I was living. Running on. And.On.)

I must give my husband the credit. And my God. Together they spoke my own words back to me.

Choose joy today, Kristina. Choose it moment by moment. Day by day. Whatever you do, choose joy.

My husband has been good to me. Sitting with me in the quiet of our En-Gedi, modeling peace under the burden of providing, reminding me that God is the only one who really provides.

He has spoken promises in our hearts if we only listen and practice trust. Faith is being sure of what we hope for.

He leads and releases me of obligation, says, "Trust me." Both my man and my God speak truth. Gently, ever so tenderly, together they whisper, "Joy. Choose it."

Even in the midst of insecurity. In the middle of strife. When bearing the burden of the mundane. Choose.

Because of  Christ, and by the power and hope of the Holy Spirit, the burden is birthed to joy. And the whole world sings,

"Joy to the World, the Lord has come."

How has He brought joy to you?

May the God of hope 
fill you with all joy and peace 
as you trust in him, 
so that you may overflow with hope
by the power of the Holy Spirit. 
~Romans 15:13

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