Monday, March 5, 2012

Beyond Imagining: Dangerous Hope {Pt 4}

This is the story of our year where I chronicle our journey through unemployment, a few of our detours along the way,  and the faithfulness of a good God that is beyond imagining. 

If you are just now finding this series, please jump back and read:

The holidays came and we were still waiting.

I remember hearing the song "While I'm Waiting" what seemed like years ago and adopting it as my theme, having no idea how loooong my season of waiting would last. By now, when the song came on the radio,  I was numb to it. Yeah, yeah, wait and worship. Whatever.

I was ready to be done.

We hoped that our loose ends would be tied up in a nice pretty Christmas bow. God gives good gifts, after all, and wouldn't Christmas be the perfect time for such a gift? But it seemed that would not be happening.

Robb had written about hope the previous December:
Hope has a dangerous element, it encourages a desire to strive for the difficult paths and reach for unrealized dreams. That is why it hurts so much when what is hoped for fades or seems out of reach. Don't be afraid to hope my friends, it's worth it.
One year had passed since that comment and we were still trying to hold on to hope, but as the hiring process progressed, the waiting became increasingly difficult. Our growing desire for this job to be our answer correlated to our growing fear that it would not be. We felt the dangerous element of hope. The job seemed too good to be true, out of reach.

We felt keenly the battle for hope and peace in our hearts. I began rallying the troops to pray.

A month had already passed since we had heard of the job opening, and I remember asking the Lord if this was something in which we should be investing so much energy and emotion and hope. I asked Him to give me a word of encouragement and then, hoping God would have something specific to say to me, opened my Bible to the Psalm of the day.

It was December 20th, so I read Psalm 20:

1 May the LORD answer you when you are in distress;
   may the name of the God of Jacob protect you.
2 May he send you help from the sanctuary
   and grant you support from Zion.
3 May he remember all your sacrifices
   and accept your burnt offerings.[b]
4 May he give you the desire of your heart
   and make all your plans succeed.
5 May we shout for joy over your victory
   and lift up our banners in the name of our God.
   May the LORD grant all your requests.
 6 Now this I know:
   The LORD gives victory to his anointed.
He answers him from his heavenly sanctuary
   with the victorious power of his right hand.
7 Some trust in chariots and some in horses,
   but we trust in the name of the LORD our God.
8 They are brought to their knees and fall,
   but we rise up and stand firm.
9 LORD, give victory to the king!
   Answer us when we call! 
I was stunned to tears.

"May the Lord answer you.....May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed!"

I took these words to heart and they brought me hope me many times over the next days, as we were notified that the pool of applicants was pared down to a few choice candidates.

Robb was still in the running.

We were so relieved, we both cried.


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