Stones, an Altar, an Anniversary

"We've been through a lot together."

My husband lay on his back, the day and sermon running through his head as he waited for slumber to claim him.

Yes. We have.

The sermon had been on Joshua 22.  The eastern tribes returned home, across the boundary of the Jordan that separated them from the Israelites. They built an altar, fearing that the decedents of Israel would one day say,

"What do you have to do with the Lord? The Lord has made the Jordan a boundary between us and you! You have no share in the Lord!"


We've been through a lot and some days we fear the same words. We have our own Jordan and we've crossed the boundary between then and now. A marker exists.

Except for Grace, what have we to do with the Lord?

The eastern tribes said, "That is why we said, 'Let us get ready and build an altar...it is to be a witness between us and you and the generations that follow, that we will worship the Lord. Then in the future your descendants will not be able to say to ours, You have no share in the Lord."

Not many build altars now. We remember in different ways. We pile no stones. And yet.

I catch Robb's eye and hold out my left hand, fingering my wedding ring and the glinting circle I received for our tenth anniversary after our Jordan.

I smile gratefulness at his face. "These are my stones."

My altar has the same name: A Witness Between Us that the Lord is God.

These rings are a witness between us in our marriage that when we believe God, not just believe in Him, but believe that He is who He says He is, He is enough, He is big enough, and He can do what he says He can do, nothing is impossible.

Happy Anniversary, Love. 

I love you,

more deeply because of sorrow.

I cherish you,

because you faithfully nurture.

I trust you,

for you trust your heart to me.

I respect you,

for you humbly offer grace.

I want to remember it all

and count it all as joy, 

for He is our God. 

And He has been good 

to give me 

you.

Duluth in Black and White

Harbor Lighthouse

 Lift Bridge

Split Rock Lighthouse

 Robb walking across Gooseberry Falls

 Enger Tower 



See more pics of our getaway and my thoughts on why I date my husband here.

This week's You Capture theme was black and white.  Go visit Beth to check it out!

The Bigger Picture: Why I Date My Spouse

I sincerely believe one of the best gifts I can give my children is a strong marriage. Dating is not an option, once married. It is essential. To step away from children and chores and house and work and look each other in the eye and remember what caused the first spark: that is mandatory. Besides, it's also fun!

Equally important, though less frequent, are longer times spent away. A night, or two or three.


One week ago, Mitchell and Megan were already at camp, so Robb and I dropped Madison off at Grandma and Grandpa's and headed north. Just the two of us. We found the AG Thomson House to be a perfect bed and breakfast for our little getaway. I can't imagine better hosts. (We got hugged when we left!) Breakfast was delish. (Seriously, check out the menu and recipes!) All the little extras added up to the. best. time. ever.

We visited Gooseberry Falls briefly. Well, we planned to visit briefly. Our quick stop was extended when Robb locked the keys in the van. Thankfully we noticed right away, and could explore while we waited for AAA to show up. Thank goodness for our AAA Gold membership!

Throughout our three days together, I pondered previous trips we've taken. In younger years, we may not have handled this little hiccup well. One of the key changes we've made is making dates a priority. If we wait too long, don't tend the fire, the pressure mounts and all expectations are laid on one short weekend. But a few days cannot make up for years or even weeks of neglect. The littlest thing can ruin a wonderful time when our expectations are high and our hearts are distant.

Thankfully we laid no burden on this trip. It was for fun, for relaxation. Not for Disney fairy tale romance.  Because those expectations were not our focus, and we had no dating deficit we were scrambling to reduce, we could just enjoy each moment for what is was, not wishing for something different, something more, something deep.

On our way up to Split Rock Lighthouse, we encountered some road construction, but we hardly noticed. I was busy reading the history of the murder at Glensheen mansion to Robb in preparation of our tour there the next day. Morbid? Maybe. Fascinating? Definitely! Romantic? Doubtful. Memorable? Yes!

The next day, after our extended tour of Glensheen, we meandered through Canal Park, shared boneless buffalo wings and salad at Grandma's, shopped, ate ice cream that dripped down my fingers into a puddle on the sidewalk, and watched three ships come (sailing in, come sailing in....ahem) and go under the lift bridge to the harbor. At times we walked hand in hand.

That evening we climbed aboard this:

photo credit: Vista Fleet

For a two and a half tour. First, as we cruised through the harbor, we had dinner with a side of sunset. 

Then we made our way out through the natural inlet, along the shore of Duluth after sundown, and under the lift bridge. I took lots of pictures. We kissed on the bow deck.

Lake Superior was the calmest I've seen.

And so went our trip. Lovely. Calm. Restful. Fun.

I am so thankful to be at this place in our marriage. We've seen the typical storms and turbulent waters that come with two becoming one. At the altar we became one in Word. In name. These last 12 years have grown us up and into each other. Selfishness, increasingly, laid aside. Our hearts, unified. The waters, calmed.

We are more one as we draw out the good and call out the bad, one's strength complimenting the other's weakness. All the time reaching for each other.

When we take time to grow into each other and together into Christ, laying expectations down, romance is not forced.

It blossoms all on its own.

 Front patio at AG Thomson House

Sharing a  Bigger Picture Moment, this week at Maegan's place 

Yes, I Do

Twelve years ago today.

I took the leap of faith called marriage. I looked in the eyes of this man and said yes forever. Yes to love. Yes to commitment. Yes to vulnerability. Yes to forgiveness. Yes to laughter and tears. Yes to growth. Yes to whatever life became together.

I said I do.

I still do.

I love you, Robb.
To you, I say yes.

All I need.

After weeks of busy nights, our commitment to date nights is forgotten. Week after week passes without time away, together. In the middle of raising kids. Entrepreneurial endeavors. Stress. Running.

We miss each other.

It comes to a head one night after the kids are put to bed, and my heart feels alone. We haven't meant to, but we've forgotten to fan the flame. To give our best to each other instead of everything else. To encourage the other in this life we've made together.

I cry. I'm confused. Don't know what to say about how I feel. I want him to change. To love me better. To say the right thing.  To do more. To hug and to hold and to make me whole.

But that's not his job. He can't possibly understand my emotions when I don't understand them myself. And I know better than this. My needy heart is not his fault, nor is he the solution. His love is a band-aid to an ache that I know only One can fill.

All I need and trust is the deep, deep love of Jesus. (song #4 on Come Weary Saints album)

I sing it. Do I mean it? Do I believe it? Do I live it?

I know it. And I do mean it and believe it. Obviously there are times I forget to live it. I forget to give grace from the abundance given me. I forget the limitless source of love in the Holy Spirit who promises to fill my emptiness so that I, in turn, may pour love on others.

When the Holy Reminder* does His job, which He never fails to do, He teaches me in my emptiness, and reminds me who I am and Who I need most: my One True Love. The One who gave himself for me and chose me before the creation of the world. The One who longs for me to choose Him above any other. The One who loves me most and loves me best.

*John 14:26
But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.

(And the Holy Reminder reminds me, too, of what a great guy I have. He does the dishes, cleans the kitchen better than I ever hope to, cooks, puts our children to bed every single night, works hard, provides, loves people and arranges my social life. Yeah, he's got his flaws, but, um, so do I.  *grin*)

With this perspective comes peace, reconciliation, understanding and grace. My unrealistic expectations that pressure and demand are put in their place.  And what is left is love. Unconditional.

And I am satisfied.
And so in love. :)

Thank you Lord, for saving my soul,
Thank you Lord, for making me whole,
Thank you Lord, for giving to me,
Thy great salvation, so rich, and free.

Playing (and Fighting) Fair

Megan has spent most of Mitchell's football practices on the sidelines, creating cheers and routines with her friends. This week that all changed. Boys entered the picture. They wanted the girls to cheer for THEM, specifically.  The girls would have none of it. They wanted to play ball. Tackle football. The rule was made that the girls could tackle but the boys could only tag. Megan reported to me quite proudly after their scrimmage that she took two different boys down to the ground. Guess having a brother around has it's advantages. For football anyway.

I got to thinking. I do that sometimes. This story has a familiar dynamic. What man doesn't want a beauty by his side cheering him on? But we'd rather take him on straightaway. Those rules sound familiar....like the rules we make with our husbands. Seems the rules are always tilted in our direction. And then we take him down. To the ground. Doesn't seem fair. Or respectful.

Sorry Honey.