Things I'll need to remember while my husband is gone

My google maps is set, my phone is synced, it takes a bit of rummaging to turn off the hazard lights, but I pull out into the blackness of the early winter evening and I know I'll be fine. I've already blinked back the two tears that threatened to spill over and swallowed the tight throat away and I remind myself, "I am a strong, capable woman!"

I was. I am. After all, I change all the lightbulbs and spackle the holes and have a fondness for all things Home Depot, even if I do ask for help. I run my own business, create my own spreadsheets, fear no small noises in the middle of the night. I am the major contributor to our family income while my husband gets his masters, for crying out loud. But twenty years of marriage has worn comfortable patterns in the carpet of my life and even a two week stint apart from my husband disturbs the roles to which I've become accustomed. 

I try to remember the things I'll need to remember. 

1. Don't stay up past 10 to watch chick flicks to avoid the inevitable: a king bed half of which will remain cold.
2. Lock all the doors before bed.
3. Set out trash on Tuesday mornings.
4. Turn the fan on BEFORE crawling into bed, getting all comfy and realizing it’s quieter than normal. 
5. Ask teens for work schedules to determine who can give the youngest rides home from play practice instead of winging it. 
6. Change alarm to be later than normal because there will be no one to share coffee with, but early enough to make myself coffee.
7. Make a list of books to finish to help avoid the black hole of Netflix.
8. Treat the hot tub. 
9. Call girlfriends for coffee and crafts and hot tub nights.
10. Buy wine.
11. Make an appointment for a massage to use up the gift card from last Christmas.
12. Buy milk. Always need more milk for daycare. 
13. Make appt. for nails. It's been three weeks girl. Your fill is soon to turn into a full set.
14. Make a menu plan so I can lose 10lbs before he gets back.
15. Just kidding on that last one. Sorta.

I'm home from the airport, and after a two hour delay and multiple phone calls to me while he waited on the tarmac, he's finally on his way to a warmer climate, and some manual labor his dad can't do after recent surgery. He's going to have some fun and so am I. 

But I still hope these two weeks fly by. Life's just not the way I want it when he's not here. 

Renting, Contentment and Brass Hardware

We rented for about 7 years before we moved into this "new" rental in town, following 7 years of home-ownership. (We sold right before the big housing crash.) It was never our plan to rent, but then we found that farm, and fell in love. I prided myself in my contentment even though we didn't own and I couldn't change and paint and be as creative decorating as maybe I would have liked.

Meanwhile I enjoyed waving fields of corn, long walks down the driveway and views out every single brand new Anderson window.  The carpet was also brand new, as well as everything else in that house, save the charming old woodwork.

The winter was another story, but I was cozy and warm,  and I loved seeing the wind drift and dapple the snow in waves. The country was second best, coming from a childhood of growing up on a lake.

Yes, I was spiritual all right, "suffering" in my rental home and learning through the lack of a mortgage tying us down, that "this world is not my home."

Then we moved to town and I found out I had not really learned that lesson in contentment.

This house has acoustical ceiling tile in the bathroom, painted over wallpaper paste, and dark low pile Berber in two bedrooms. Oh yes, and peeling kitchen cabinets with brass hardware. Did I tell you Mitchell shares a room with my office? He's glad to have the computer so close, but the poor kid (ahem, teen) has no privacy as his room opens directly to the living room, and kitchen.

It's cozy and the utilities are cheap, the kitchen is massive and the garage is so heavily insulted it stayed a balmy 20* inside even when the temperatures dropped to a wind chill of -40*, but it has definite quirks.

And they irk me.

We have goals that we are making progress toward, but I'm ready to be in a house with quirks that I can do something about!

Yesterday my issue of Martha Stewart Living came and was a bit astonished to see this page spread on brass.

My kitchen with brass hardware (and cute little girl in tutu.)

I know it's not the same, and I can't paint my cabinets grey or replace my woodgrain laminate with white silestone, but my hardware is on trend! 

We are where we need to be, and if I can't be content with all the little annoyances of a house-not-my-own, at least I can be content with that. 

And with my brass kitchen hardware.

I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.  I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. Philippians 4:11-12 

{So}Sartina Peppermint Lip Bliss Balm and my as-good-as Burt's Bees Recipe

{So}Sartina Peppermint Lip Bliss Balm

True confession time: I have an addiction to Burt's Bees lip balm. Who doesn't, right? It's minty goodness soothes the chappest of dry Minnesota lips. And dry Minnesota lips are, unfortunately, easy to come by around here.

Last year I ran across a recipe for a Burt's Bees copycat lip balm on Pinterest, and I was soon ordering lip balm tubes on Amazon and gathering the ingredients to make my own lip bliss. That first recipe was ok, but it disappointed in texture and stay-ability. Other recipes included many more ingredients which was not cost effective to me. I wanted a simple, natural recipe.

After a little playing around with ingredients and amounts, I am finally satisfied! My {So}Peppermint Lip Bliss Balm (available for sale in my Etsy shop) has the perfect amount of spicy, tingly mint and great weather protection stay-ability.

{So}Sartina Peppermint Lip Bliss Balm and my as-good-as Burt's Bees Recipe:

2 oz. beeswax
3 oz. coconut oil
1 Tbsp. pure lanolin
1 tsp. vitamin E oil
25-35 drops of peppermint oil

25 empty lip balm tubes

1. Melt beeswax in saucepan on low.
2. Add coconut oil, lanolin, vitamin E oil and melt.
3. Add peppermint. 
4. Carefully fill tubes. Reheat as necessary to keep mixture liquid.
5. Cool.
6. Cap.
7. Enjoy!

Roundabouts and Riches

Buy here

They say life is a journey but in certain areas sometimes I feel like we're stuck on a roundabout. Around and around we go, seeing the same exits, the same road marks, and knowing the way, but never getting off. Maybe this time around, we'll get off, but around we go again.

We are trying to be honest with ourselves about where we are and what our goals are and sticking to them, but it's hard. 

You know that because you've been there too. 

We're grown ups, but if we're honest, there are parts of us that don't want to be and we whine like our own kids: why is life so difficult? We're bookends to 40, after all. Shouldn't we have this figured out by now?

But no. We don't. And if we think we do, we are lying. Sorry, but there it is. There's only One who really knows and has it all figured out, and we trust Him and seek Him and try to take the next step .

Follow His steps.

But gosh darn. It's hard.

It's so much easier to pretend and not look at the budget or whatever that THING is that is hard at the moment, but it is necessary and God's got it anyhow.

And then two days after my friends prayed for my tears and the day after I created this lovely printable wall art to remind myself truth,  He showed us up.

He does that, you know. He shows up and He shows off.

He's got your back, and He goes before you and though it may seem He runs late, He is with you. You can trust Him. 

Life IS a journey - a beautiful one - so let's not get stuck on the roundabouts. Let's get out on the open road and enjoy the scenery of a God at work! 

~

The above art is for sale as a download in my etsy shop. The purchased version will be watermark free, of course. :)

Birthday Bunting

I've never been so happy to have saved a few scraps from the big crafting purge of our move. These are scraps of men's dress shirts already hacked up to make aprons. The sleeves and backs were the bits left. Who saves stuff like that? Uhhh. Me. 

 I am just beside myself that they happen to MATCH my kitchen! 

AND matching yarn!! Too much accidental coordination, I tell you. It's too good! I can't stand it!

I probably should have ironed them, and the edges are rough, so it's not perfect, but neither is this house, and neither are we. My favorite home decor blog's tag line is "It doesn't have to be perfect to be beautiful." Good enough is sometimes best, and necessity sometimes spurs the best creativity. 

The birthday girl wanted paper streamers and balloons, and I was feeling the pressure to buy more than we could or else disappoint. It turns out I already had just what I needed.

We all like this much better anyway.

Don't you?

Moving, Winter, and the Sounds of Change

Last night I finally found the box of mittens and scarves and hats and, this morning, in the rush to push the kids out the door, down the crunchy snowy sidewalk and onto the bus, we unknotted scarves from previous play and sorted mittens. I supposed it was about time this chore got done since the cold weather came LAST week and the snow is finally being bob-catted from the berm in the middle of every town street. So, I was a little late. No frostbite was seen or felt, however, and we were none the worse for wear.

On August 1st we moved to Waconia. Back to my hometown, the land of The Lake, and cute little downtown shops and Catholic church bells ringing and Target. We left wide open spaces, cows moooing, a spacious farmhouse that I had finally gotten organized and decorated the way I wanted, our "En-Gedi", unplowed roads in winter and high utility bills.

Old Town Hall 

I think God himself led us to live here, (a block from a movie theater, my favorite coffee shop, the bubble tea shop, chocolate outlet, consignment shop and new church campus) though sometimes my dear husband balks at the presumption of such claims. We moved because it made sense financially. But I believe that when we "trust the Lord with all our hearts and lean not on [just] our own understanding, He will make straight our paths."

We have hearts that more than anything want to do what He wants, so I think he leads even when we think we are being logical. Even with all our logical decision making, only God could have known the dominoes that would fall when we moved. One by one, each decision led to another, and the resulting feeling that this season is divine gift.

The other evening, as the snow fell softly and turned the night white, I lay cozy in bed, but missed the farm and the howling and shuddering wind that came with storms. It's quiet here in town, at least the weather is. The intermittent tractor sounds carrying across the open expanse have been replaced by the clatter of garbage trucks and snowplows, delivery trucks and postal traffic. As I thought about how I missed the isolated sounds of the gales galloping unhindered across 200 acres of bare open fields, the windows began to shudder here in my town home. Evidently some sounds never change.

Comforted, I fell right to sleep.

Gifted Days

Gracious me.

A full year has alternately labored and flitted away, and here I finally sit again, with coffee mug in hand, at a different desk which sits in a completely different house than the last time I tapped keys and jotted lines for this space.

The house is quiet. The fridge softly hums. My kids are gone for the day and I have exactly one hour before another's children will enter my space.

My how life changes, meanders, turns, the unexpected waiting around the corners of life, gifts if we will see them as that.

The season of decorations and holiday music and advent readings is upon us, and my heart seeks a pause. I reflect on what could have filled the unwritten posts, the journey of the past year's days.

This year's simplified Christmas decor 

Days are gifts, not always the kind we want, but the kind we need, the kind that require pruning to make space for the new gift. This year was especially filled with that kind of gifted day, and though I still mourn the old at times, I am beginning to be more thankful for the simpler new.

James 1:17 Every good and perfect gift is from above,b coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights,c who does not changed like shifting shadows.

I hope to share here a little more frequently than once a year ~ ha! ~ and fill in this year's story. Bear with me as I clear the cobwebs and extra stuff from my cerebrum with each blog post, just as my garage gradually empties one craigslist post at a time. ;)

The Heart of Christmas

We started thinking Christmas thoughts a bit earlier this year, spending long hours mid-November at Crown decorating for the annual college Christmas dinner and concert.

Robb and I first met in Simpson auditorium wearing our concert best for Candlelight Carols. I showed him how to hold my violin. He held the bow to the strings and made an awful sound! Fifteen years later he coordinates all the elements that make this fabulous weekend happen.  I have had my part as well, enjoying the opportunity to be creative with a large venue. The concert is this weekend, and after a full two weeks of 10pm work nights, our decorating team is finishing up today!

Our days have been jam-packed, rushing through school work in the mornings, and either farming kids out to my mom or friends, or even bringing them with to Crown to hang out with college students or friends. It makes me all glad inside to see them running around the same halls as I did as a child when our church met in the college chapel. I now understand and feel for my parents when the time came to leave and we were nowhere to be found. It's a large facility and my kids don't have cell phones to track them down easily!

Even with all the crazy busy I did find time recently for a Christmas movie I would love to share with you. The Heart of Christmas piqued my curiosity when I saw that hilarious Anita Renfroe and talented Matthew West were among the cast. (I first saw Anita perform at family camp ten years ago and declared, "She needs to tour with Women of Faith!" I think I might have the gift of prophecy! Ha!) The movie is heart-breaking and heart-warming as you would expect for a story of a young boy with cancer. It is a lovely family movie and I happen to have one DVD to give away to a reader's family!

Please go watch the trailer and come back and leave a comment about your favorite Christmas decoration to enter the drawing for the DVD. Comments will be open through the first week of December and then I will randomly select a winner!

Happy December! (Just a couple days early!)

Happy Wife, Happy Life or Some Variation Thereof

 This is me sitting across the table from you, visiting over coffee. Or something. 

In other words, I have no other picture to go with this post!

I walk in the door, home from my very first cavity filling appointment that actually required Novocaine, mouth still numb, but heart happy for the garage sale finds I snagged on the way home.

The kitchen is clean. Did I leave it that way?

No, the girls dance in,

"Do ya notice anything different, mom? We cleaned! The dishes and the table and the living room! I made everyone eggs and then we cleaned it all up!"

I am astonished until I later learn the internet was down and Megan was bored, so she cleaned!

I hug them both, feel blessed.

~*~

The months have flown by, busy, yet not. This summer my daycare was closed, so I was busy instead with garden and organizing and pool time and still trying to reclaim a sense of stability that had eluded us for so long. Good things and jobs and masters programs bring a new kind of stress that we fragile, still-recovering-from-spiritual-drought discovered was too much good, too quick.

So we took a step back (Robb is stretching out his MBA program) and are trying to reclaim and rebuild joy in each other and peace in what God is doing now that the storm is over.

He is good, ya know?

So good.

They say of husbands: "Happy wife, happy life." But I've found the reverse is true as well. Having my husband employed doing what he loves, with people he enjoys, brings me happiness.

~*~

I unpack my garage sale finds: the bread slicing guide I wished for two days ago when Mitchell laughed at my uneven slices, fun t-shirts for me, a decorative feather pillow to recover that I wanted for our living room last week, a set of teal mugs that match my kitchen...silly little things I don't even really need, yet there they were, the things on my imaginary wish list, provided, for pennies on the dollar.

I wash a new mug, set it under the Keurig for my late morning cup. The feeling begins to return to my lips. I take a sip.

I feel blessed.

I'm the parent of a teen! And pics to prove it!

Twelve will be known as the year of change for Mitchell. Here's the proof:

All these pictures were taken within the last year!

His hair grew as fast as he did, and he is now taller than both Robb and I - 5' 7.5" last time we checked. I'm guessing he's grown 6 inches this year, but the only documented growth is the inch marked on the door that he grew between May and June.

His voice has changed as much as his opinions on clothing. :)  He knows what he likes and he doesn't care much what his friends think of it. Criticism for wearing a beanie in the summer plus fingerless gloves doesn't phase him.

Sometimes I hear his voice somewhere in the house and think Robb is home from work early.

After a childhood of eating like a bird, his teenage metabolism has shown up. I am beginning to believe the stories of teen boys' appetites!

His hat is a must for "bad hair days" but those may be dwindling since I showed him how to straighten his surprisingly curly hair. Ha!

He now sits at the grown up table and joins the conversation there.

He's grown thoughtful....and now prefers things around here cleaned up. His room is cleaner than I ever remember it!

He wants his own phone... But he's not getting one!

His interest in music and guitar accelerated as he started electric guitar lessons this spring, and and he now wants a drum set, a keyboard, an acoustic guitar, and the technology to write his own music.

His curiosity about graphics, gaming and video creation continues.

I am enjoying who Mitchell is becoming. Though he is, rightfully,  growing more independent, he listens and responds respectfully. A more grown up kid showed up this year, and I'm excited to see what the next year brings!

Happy 13th Birthday, Mitchell!