This is me

I’m sitting in a Caribou, eating a mushroom soufflé with a fork and knife, savoring each bite. I’ve already had a peppermint mocha this morning before my divorce hearing so I just have a brewed coffee in hand. The sun streams in from the winter wonderland outside. 

I don’t know what I expected for this day, but the day came and I woke to thoughts of a Christmas decor project at church and not anything sad or grievous. 

I feel settled and at rest. This is acceptance.  

A friend asked me this week if I was more terrified of the future or more excited. 

Honestly it’s not even a hard question to answer. I have not experienced fear. There has been peace that passes understanding. I eagerly await the future while remaining present in each new day. The only explanation I have for this calm is that I simply believe God’s promises. I believe his promises about my past. My present. My future.

What is faith without hope? Without actual belief that God is good no matter what? 

I cannot deny that this transition has been smoother than I ever would have expected and that God has given me not only what I need, but also what I want. He’s given me specific things that are meaningful to me personally, and make me feel loved specifically. 

Today is just another day. A chapter has closed but I’m nowhere near the end of the book. 

A couple friends interrupt my solitary reflection and merriment arrives. A mug is presented bringing a sassy proclamation and I laugh loudly.

The day promises delightful companionship, delicious food and      diverting destinations. 

There is much joy to be had. 

“I didn’t do it alone. I couldn’t have. I had help every step of the way...Find yourself faith. It helps...No. It’s everything.”

- Princess Alice, The Crown

My name is Kristina Joy. 

Follower of Christ.

Joyful one. 

No longer we. 

This is me.