3 days

The sun streams in, bright and overwhelming in my front living room.  I’ve sipped countless morning mochas here. The furniture has changed but the view remains the same: the neighbors’ immaculate lawns, Gus the golden doodle resting on his driveway. The morning neighborhood traffic of a couple daycares and a few dozen homes. That one Tesla and the all junkers on their way to the last few days of high school. 

Twenty twenty one has been a whirlwind. From first quarantine date on the last day of 2020 to quick engagement a month later, selling his townhome and then gradually combining households and completing one big renovation project and a handful of minor updates, daily Amazon packages, furniture shopping and photo shoots, vaccines, illnesses, tears but more laughter, spending time with each other’s family and friends, rides on motorcycle and mustang depending on the weather, countless donations trips to goodwill, celebrating milestones, walks in his new town and my childhood one, both of us losing clients and gaining new ones, creating spreadsheets, financial plans and budgets, numerous meals out, purging his parents home of 48 years, medical scares on both sides of the family that resolved quickly, watching the world warm and open. 

We’ve crammed a lot of life together in a few short months. I’ve been surprised at how easy it’s been. Except for a couple days we’ve spent 8+ hours a day together since we met. 

Spring is now in full swing, gardens and flower pots planted and summer plans scheduled. 

I’m getting married in 3 days. Again. Already. 

We’re ready. 

He and I never thought we’d get married a second time to different people, that wasn’t in the plan or part of the dream. But life takes unexpected turns and even God promises trouble to those who love him. 

We talked the other day about if knowing a beautiful future was ahead would have lessened the pain of loss. Probably not we decided. Loss requires grieving no matter the promises of a God who overcomes the world and makes all things work together for good. 

Trusting the goodness of a good God in the midst of pain, however, does give one true hope and saves us from being swallowed up completely by the dark pit of self pity and anger. We each responded differently to loss. We each asked our whys. And yet we’ve landed here together in this place of joy and hope and a future. We are dreaming new dreams. The question isn’t why but Who. No matter the circumstances God is either good or He is good. 

The sun streams in, bright and overwhelming on our new beginning. I sip my mocha, savoring the foam and the sun on my face. Just a few more days. We are giddy and impatient, and so very thankful. Weeping endured for a night. But joy came. Morning dawned. 

And we will sing of the goodness of God.