Renovation

I sprawl on the sofa, now facing the TV and take in the new order of the room. It’s a visually satisfying arrangement, symmetrical and simplified. Matching chairs, throws and pillows on each side of the fireplace I stenciled the very weekend Robb decided he was done here. 

The order in front of me belies the piles I’ve stashed out of sight in the front room behind me. Piles to be sorted and things that now need new homes. 

Such is my life. It’s simpler to make decisions alone, the need to consult with a partner gone. I choose my own shows, make plans with friends and find freedom in my saving and spending and giving. 

Some of these things I like very much. I try to sit and savor these new feelings, but the cost remains: discarded hopes and dreams need emotional sorting and all the spackled nail holes need a new coat of paint. 

I’m in the messy stage of this life renovation, and though there are rooms that show potential, I’ve got a dumpster, a screwdriver and a paintbrush and a whole lot of work that needs to be done.

Still, some days, I just lie here and watch my choice of show.