After a quiet winter

The spring sun warms as birds chirp and the hum of a vacuum faintly disturbs the sounds of nature around me. An early lawnmower from a nearby neighbor adds to the soundtrack of spring. 

I’m content in my favorite season. 

I hired a carpet cleaner today, ordered a few things on Amazon and should have packages arriving a few days this week. Some would call this retail therapy, in a season when other forms of shopping and social joy have been removed, but for me, this shopping is different.

In the past I lived with a scarcity mentality. I differentiate between a love of thrifting and hunting for treasures and the feeling of hesitation at ordering things I need or want to live comfortably. These are two different things. 

With a comfortable savings growing, I am beginning to allow myself the freedom to buy what I want, to live guilt free, as I find financial freedom. This is both the freedom to save and the freedom to spend. There is a supreme contentedness in the feeling of being able to provide for my own needs and the needs of my kids, to thrive at supporting a rather large home and multiple businesses. 

I have never been independent in this way, and find it intriguing that I have less fear, more confidence, more trust in a God who delights in taking good care of me. 

I do not embrace a prosperity gospel, but I do believe God places and removes blessing and I can’t help but feel this season of stability in the midst of a world crisis is a purposeful gift to me. 

I feel like He’s saying,

“Girl, I see you. I have counted your tears this year, I have seen your trauma and you get to sit this one out.” 

I work hard to be sure. Projects are a joy and when there’s a need for masks I make them and earn a bit more. I spend a little more on Fair trade and take-out to support those who need. I give a little extra because I can. 

I don’t pretend to know why some struggle and some are shielded from it. No doubt we all take turns in the valley and mountain top. 

Both have their gifts for us. The view is fantastic from the top. But the running water and the wildlife are found in the valley. 

I can still hear the birds causing a ruckus from my perch on my deck. The vacuum has stilled and my carpets are clean. I order one more thing before paying the carpet cleaner. A comfy new outdoor couch for my whole family to enjoy. 

Spring is here and I want to be ready to live in the sun.