Showing posts with label Not me. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Not me. Show all posts

Monday, August 9, 2010

No Novocain? No cavity!

I haven't done a Not Me post in a while, and thought it might be time for a bit of silliness. I'm not always reflective and spiritual you know! :) (Ok, you really didn't have to agree with me so quickly!)

So humor me, please....

I have always taken pride in a cavity free mouth. Every time I visit the dentist, they comment on my beautiful mouth of teeth. (Thanks for the braces, mom and dad!) I brushed and flossed regularly as a kid and my worst nightmares included my teeth falling out. Well, there was that one time I had a tiny cavity. But it doesn't count. It was so small I didn't even need Novocaine when it was filled.

See? Nice teeth.  But not nice double chin...
And, yes, I laugh a lot.

Given my pride in this area there is no way I am going to admit that I had 4 cavities filled this week. Not me! I spent $700.00 to get sealants repaired, not to get cavities filled. My mouth has a reputation to uphold, you know.

I did not go so far as to convince the dentist to agree with my definition of "cavity " just to make myself feel better. I needed no Novocaine, so there is not a chance I'm calling them cavities! Not ME! And not him, either!

So if you could just keep this quiet for me, I would appreciate it, and so would my mouth. It has a reputation to uphold, you know.

~
Alright, back to regular programming. Thank you very much. If you want to read other Not Me nonsense, head over to Jennifer's place.  It's a great place for some laughs on a Monday morning!

Monday, May 10, 2010

The Doll I'll Never Admit is Better, Pt. 3-ish

Remember this? When I went on and on about a silly doll? And then that very same month when I made a  promise to my daughter and made plans to break my own rule again?

The time finally came, the stars aligned, or whatever, Madison's finger dried out, and my sister and her little one packed into our filthy van (because I'm pretty sure I heard Victoria beg to join all the girls,) and our vehicle headed in the direction of the big city. Or at least the biggest Mall in America.

The girls had talked about which doll Madison would choose. Megan had picked one that looked like her. Would Madison decide on Julie or Kit?



We arrived at little girl heaven. Madison flitted like a bee from display to display and after much scrutiny, picked Molly.

What?

Molly?

That' not what we talked about! She doesn't look anything like Molly! At this revelation and change in plans, I did not resort to meddling and manipulation. Rather, I lovingly encouraged and guided Madison to make a better choice. A cuter choice. A different choice.

Or not.

What had made her change her mind? If it was the glasses, could we buy a pair for, say, Kit?

"No." Said she, with confidence, and not a little defiant shake of the head.

If it was the fact that we already had the Molly movie, would buying the Kit movie change her mind?

"No." Again. Same stubborn shake of head.

"Nothing you say can make me change my mind. I've made up my mind. Now, let's go buy it already, mom."

I look at my sister. We roll our eyes. Do we let her make this foolish, fashion-less choice, on this last minute whim?

I envision a moment in the near future when she realizes Molly's wardrobe is not quite as cute as another's. Do I risk that amount of money, with the possibility of the doll being scorned and tossed aside later?

I reluctantly follow a Molly toting Madison to the check out line.

"Oh, look!" I see a display of accessories, conveniently displayed for last-minute buyer whims.

"Purple glasses!"

"Madison, if you get Kit, I'll buy these glasses for you, and they will even match her outfit! They're so cute!"

She checks them out.

"OK!" she agrees cheerfully.

And off she trots with Megan to exchange the box holding Molly for a box with Kit.

Whew. That was close.

Am I sorry I manipulated and bribed my daughter to buy what I esteemed to be the cuter doll?
Nope, not at all. Not me!

With relief, we all went to lunch at the American Girl Bistro and everyone lived happily ever after.


We borrowed a friend for Victoria, but she wasn't interested.


(And, in the end, Madison picked the brown glasses, 
not the purple, and I didn't even try to change her mind.)
 
The end.


Monday, March 22, 2010

Organizational Quirk

I like to think I'm a pretty clean person. I know "clean" is a relative term. Everyone has their own clean threshold. When I complain about my house being messy, my friends laugh. Well, the dirty ones do, anyway. Yes, most main areas are kept pretty well picked up, and I try to stay about an hour of work away from being company presentable, not counting bedrooms, of course. But like most people I have my organizational quirks. The other day I noticed a peculiar habit I've developed:




Does anyone use windowsills as shelves for things found on the floor while vacuuming or for general purpose storage? 'Cause I certainly don't. Yeah, not me.

This has been another episode of  Not Me Monday. For more click here:


Monday, March 15, 2010

Granola + Fire Extinguisher = Not Me

 
It's Monday....time to tell what I've NOT been up to!

I did not foolishly leave the kitchen to go change out laundry loads while preparing to make popcorn and come back to too hot oil. I did not take the lid off the pan, giving the hot oil oxygen and it did not POOOF into flames. I did not do that! Not me!

I did not calmly think the situation over, reach for the fire extinguisher, and forget to move my homemade granola, still in the pan, to a safe distance. Not me. It did not get spray on it. I did not leave it sitting on the counter for days because I didn't have the heart to throw my homemade goods away. I did not make my husband do it for me.


I did not spend considerable time cleaning and spraying and scrubbing my burnt pan when my husband told me to just go buy a new one. I did not waste my time on a hopeless pan. Not me!

I did not just post this for my landlady to see. Not me!

(Note to Liz, our landlady: No worries. No damage. Just to my pan. Thanks for the new fire extinguisher. It worked like a charm.)

For more "Not Me" fun, click over to MckMama.

And to read about my other experience with a possible fire, click this.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Not me: Camera purchase

Last week I purchased a new camera. I searched the internet, researched models and found some deals. After a whole morning of reading reviews I found a steal of a deal and clicked order. The price seemed almost too good to be true.

Two days later. A guy calls from the internet site I ordered from and says there may be a problem. I think it is strange to be getting a phone call, but I do not see what is coming. Not me. I am not trusting and naive. Not me!

The man says they may not have the camera in stock. He asks what I know of the camera. He attempts to upsell me. But I am not about to buy his pitch. Not me. I begin to see his scheme. He claims the battery with the camera I ordered is no good and that I need to spend $150.00 more on a longer lasting battery. I state that I am not interested but he will not give up. Neither will I. Not me.

I state honestly that I need to do some research. I agree to call him back to update my order. I quickly scan the internet for information on Canon batteries and find he is charging twice the price for the upgrade battery. I am not about to fall for that. Not. me.

I call the seller. I refuse the upgrades. He in turn claims the camera is on back-order for 18 days. I cancel my order. He says he hopes he can help me in the future. I don't doubt that. But I won't be helped. Not me.

I begin to research sellers. I probably should have done this earlier. But I didn't. Not me. I'd never had troubles ordering online, so I am not as careful as is prudent. I find the seller I dealt with has a reputation that proceeds him. Phone calls, pressured up-sells and delayed shipping. I am so glad I canceled my order when I did.

Meanwhile, I order a lens from a more reputable company. A salesman calls me from this company too. He tries to sell me an upgraded filter kit and warranty. I am not spooked by my previous experience and following research. Not me. I refuse to be fooled again. Not me. Not gonna happen. I decide to cancel that order and buy a used lens from a friend.

I order my camera for $80.00 more than the too good to be true price from a  reputable company my family has ordered from in the past. I am not about to take a chance. Not me. There are times when you get what you pay for. And I will not succumb to my mistaken belief that the cheapest price is always the best deal. Not. me.

For more denials, head on over and visit Jennifer. This post has been shared on her site with others participating in:






Monday, January 4, 2010

Tomato Soup Fiasco

My freezer if full of frozen summer produce, my old fashioned pantry lined with jars. And there it sits. My husband still buys canned tomatoes for his taco soup and I forget I made pickles and applesauce and fruit salsa. The freezer is clogged with zucchini from this year and last year and green beans galore. I'm not sure my family even appreciates beans, unless slathered in cream soup and topped with fried onions.

So yesterday I decided to used some of the overabundance. I'd heard a friend rave about homemade tomato soup with grilled cheese, and though that flavor of soup is not my favorite, I gave it a try. Frozen tomatoes went in the pot with an onion and carrot and garlic and basil. It simmered and simmered down. Smelled good. I had hope.

I poured the boiling, chunky liquid into my blender. I knew this was dangerous, but I started slow. It gurgled slowly out the top. I spooned a good cup off the top to allow room for fierce blenderizing. I turned it on.

Who was it that was so careful, calculating her blender approach only to be startled by tomato puree sprayed all over an entire corner of the kitchen? Ummm, that certainly could not be me. But it was me and there I stood covered in tomato soup. Also covered was the wall, the cupboard, the stove, the recipe box, the canisters, the mixer, and the grill that was awaiting grilled cheese.

I wiped up. The counter. Not me. My clothes could wait. Supper could not. I finished the soup, timidly blending, not as confidently as before. The sandwiches were made after the fried soup was wiped off the griddle, and the kids came to eat. They eyed the soup.



"Who wants to try my new soup?" I ask.

"Not me," they all reply.



To read more ridiculousness click here:




.

Monday, December 21, 2009

Who?




Who made gifts for friends? Me.
Who actually remembered to bring them to church? Me.
Who scurried to package cookies for after the Christmas program? Me.
Who saved seats for grandparents and aunts in the fifth row for once instead of the 10th? Me again.
Who remembered the camera with a zoom? Me.
Who thought she had it all together for documenting a wonderful Christmas program? Me.

Who turned the camera on just as the program started only to discover the memory card was still at home in the printer? NOT ME.

Monday, December 7, 2009

No postage due. Not me.

When on vacation recently I REALLY DID write sweet notes to all my small group ladies to let them know I was thinking of them. I did not however hand them through a vehicle window to my father-in-law while driving through town because he was going to the post office. I did not ignore the sweet little voice in my head telling me to call him and tell him that those precious notes needed stamps. Nope. I did not figure carelessly that he would look at them before mailing them and I could pay him back for postage. Nope, wouldn't do that. I did not (really I didn't) ask him later if he mailed them without stamps. My husband did. We did not have a conversation about it, wondering if the bar code where the stamp should be was a prepaid stamp-code-thing.

I did not have to visit the post office the next morning and wait in line for thirty minutes, all the while with a crabby old lady behind me who constantly whined about waiting. I did not have to wait all that time only to be told that the stamp-code-thing was not a valid stamp. I did not ask the postal lady to go looking for my postcards. Nope, not me. She DID look. Very graciously. But my cards were long gone. I did not almost cry out of embarrassment from the thought of twenty postcards to my Bible Study ladies arriving postage due.


I did not post a pre-apology on Facebook. Nope, not me. My friends were gracious and said any note I send would be worth paying for.

But the cards did not arrive postage due. (For real.) And I am not at all upset about my unneeded apology. Not me!





Monday, October 5, 2009

It's a "not me" Monday!

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by McMama. You can head over to www.mycharmingkids.net to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

And now for my little bit of denial:
When on the computer blogging and facebooking this week I did not tell my children I was "working." Because that would be a bit of a stretch. Possibly even a lie. And I never lie. Nope. Not me!

I did not skim a novel looking for the highlights and then read the end just so I could go to sleep instead of staying up until the wee hours finishing the book! Nope not me! I never skip ahead. And I never get so engrossed in a book that I forget to live my own life. That would be irresponsible. And I'm never irresponsible. Not me!

I did not wait till the weekend to finish my Bible Study homework when class in on Monday, because discussion leaders never do that. And I never procrastinate. Not me!

My 8-year-old did not tell my 5 year-old "Stop hovering over me!" because she has heard me say it all too often. Because I never get frustrated or need my own space. Not me!